Today has been a toughy! We said goodbye to our gorgeous little pup Cookie. It really brought home to me the impact that our kids limitations has on their and our lives. I don’t mind admitting it has been a day of tears.

Yes, she is only a dog BUT she was a little addition to our family that we thought we could have. She was a bundle of fun, love, companionship that was going to bring a new dimension to all our lives. Angel wanted to feed her and look after her and Soldier wanted to stroke her and play chase.

Sadly Soldier has asthma as well as his NALCN breathing difficulty and whilst our first week was great the last few nights have been awful for Soldier. Culminating in him being unable to breath last night by about 2am and him and I going and lying out in the car where the dog hadn’t been, he was still a mess. So Cookie has gone to a new (and very lovely) home. If I am honest I feel robbed, robbed of that little bit of happiness.

It brought home how much we have been robbed of…

Robbed of 2 healthy children….

Robbed of being able to do many everyday things never mind our dreams of great achievements for our kids.

Robbed  of more children healthy children ourself as we have such a high chance of another child having the same genetic issues – NALCN and TRAPPC9.

Robbed of the chance of grandchildren given our kids situation or unless someone takes advantage of Angel which is a very real fear.

A pet surely isn’t too much to ask….  alas it seems it is….

Life can be cruel, how is it decided who will be robbed of what really matters in life?? 


2 thoughts on “Sometimes it just hits home so hard!

  1. This is one of my most crushing feelings, and it lingers sometimes. It’s truly unfair. I look at my little guy and hope he doesn’t know how much he’s been robbed, hope he doesn’t know what I know. But deep down I see some of the same sadness I feel in him, too.

    You captured my thoughts so well, thank you for saying it. It makes me feel less crazy. You’re an amazing mom to your two, they are lucky to have you to fight for them, to protect them, and to keep trying to find little bits of normalcy and joy for your family. I’m so glad we found you!

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